Fear. We are all born with it. Some of us are born afraid. Others, like me, don’t find out the true meaning of fear until we have children. Prior to having my boys, the only real fear I had was probably never finding my true self (oh and something happening to those I love), however, I was in control and most of all, CONFIDENT and full of common sense (you go to bed at 1am, you sleep until 1pm the next day. That’s how it works- law of physics).
After you have children that control is lost forever and your common sense becomes a struggle for daily survival (YOU go to bed at 1am, your children are still going to get up at 6. Law of physics part II…and a quest for your children to slowly, but surely, run you down into submission). As for fear, it’s something that has totally changed for me. Pre-boys, I wasn’t afraid of that funny looking man hanging around on the corner. Post-boys, that man becomes John Wayne Gacy and I’m afraid. Very afraid. I’m afraid that if I lose sight of my boys, something dreadful is going to happen to them and that is most certainly no way to live….for as soon as they left my body, me part II became an entity in their own right and the struggle for independance a race to be won.
Ah well, one good thing about fear is I save it all for my kids. Which means I have none left over to stand in the way of my photography business. I’m excited, for all the right reasons. Because this just FEELS right. So, I guess I have my boys to thank. Because their quest for independance and a place in this world has given me the confidence to turn my life around and take charge of my dreams, finding my own pleasures in life….through a lens of course.